Friday, January 27, 2012

"Have you ever loved somebody so much, it made you cry..?" Thanks Brandy. I'm sure everybody's been in "love" or real, true, shake you to your bones, kind of love. Everybody has felt some sort of strange excitement for someone else, whether it bloomed into love or not. Did you love them so much that you cried happy tears? or did you cry because you've realized that maybe the timing isn't quite right and even though you truly love them, maybe it's just not meant to be? Either way, love is tough.

I have a friend.. not just saying that to hide my identity.. I really do have a friend who is in a tough position in her life. She married an amazing man - her words, not mine. But he is a good guy. He treats her right, loves her unconditionally, is a great provider and a great father to their kids. The problem is, even though she loves him, she's realizing that maybe the timing just isn't right. Is that possible? The last few years have been a whirlwind for them. They've celebrated a lot of big life experience in a short amount of time and since things have calmed down, she's realizing that maybe they did a little too much too fast. She feels lost within the relationship and is unsure of what type of relationship she now has with herself. Her youth is passing her by and she isn't happy enough to be taking advantage of it. What does she do? Any mention of independence is going to send her husband into a world of self pity where he begins to feel inadequate and unloved. It would break her family apart. What would that do to their young kids? She's yearning to take a break and re-access who she is and what she wants, but does a break mean a break up?

After a woman gets married, is it possible for her to take a break from the relationship for herself, or is that selfish and now she's doomed to put herself aside for the next x amount of years... ? Does being a mom and wife really mean that you have to take yourself off the priority list?

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